Patience and Belief

Hey guys. I know YOU know I love deadlifts, and my goal is to pull 300lb.  Today I finally pulled 250. Here I am.

This is more than 2x my bodyweight as I am still sitting at 120lb this morning. I am STOKED. But this is taking so long to achieve. 

To accomplish this lift, it has taken me over 6 months. 6 months. 6 MONTHS!!!!! and I am still 50lb away from my goal. I want to quit. I haven't quit.  I am almost ready to quit. I am in the midst of talking to my coach about quitting tomorrow because I am thinking my goal to pull 300lb is silly and too hard for me. I know I want to, but is this hard work really worth it? I mean, what will change if I can deadlift 300lb? What will it do for me as a human being? Will it make me a better coach, friend, or daughter? Will it make me look better naked? Will it make me more have more income? Does it make me more credible in the power lifting or strength training community? The answer to all of those questions is a firm NO. So WHY THEN? 

I am not a quitter, THAT'S WHY.  It is an amazing feeling to be so disciplined and transform your mind as well as your body into such a strong and confident state of being, but the journey to the goal is where the real lessons are learned. This brings me to today blog post.

I am here to talk about patience. 

I think the two most important concepts behind success in training are:

Patience, and belief.

With any client who comes to me and want results YESTERDAY, I remind them that this stuff takes time. So, I am coaching myself as I would a client. I am revisiting  PATIENCE. 

Patience.

pa·tience

noun

1. the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

2. Patience, endurance, fortitude, stoicism imply qualities of calmness, stability, and persistent courage in trying circumstances.

I know I have to be patient.

Some days I think FUCK! 

“I work hard!  It’s not happening as fast as it should be!  I’m obviously doing something wrong, or I’m not cut out for this deadlift bullshit..everyone else seems to be way stronger than me"

Belief

be·lief bəˈlēf/noun

1. an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.

Belief is the state of mind in which a person thinks something to be the case, with or without there being empirical evidence to prove that something is the case with factual certainty.

If I don't believe in myself I WILL FAIL. So, I am changing my self talk to " I can, and I will"

Ahh this self talk is silly. I can do this, I AM DOING THIS..I WILL DO THIS! 

REMEMBER NO MATTER WHAT...

Always be proud of your accomplishments.  You worked for them.  Believe in yourself and your ability to get to that next level.  If you don’t believe you can, no one else will believe for you.

AND I HAVE A COACH WHO BELIEVES IN ME TOO...AND THAT IS A GAME CHANGER. The main reason I hired a caoch for this deadlift goal was for accountability, support, education and consistency during times when I want to say FUCK IT!  Thank-you Jordan! http://www.syattfitness.com/about/

Good things take time and if you are looking to lift more weight and hit new PRs, lose body fat or gain muscle, patience and belief is an absolute must.

"I choose to believe that my life is an incredible gift."

Even if the current situation or circumstances of your life aren’t what you’d ideally have now, you can creatively notice the ways you’ve been blessed.

You may need to start very small by noticing little things you’re grateful for. If you can find nothing to be grateful for, the fault only lies with you.

You can start simple and small by being grateful for your breath or that you have enough to eat. Over time, little by little, your life situation will shift. Expanding your sphere of gratitude helps you tap into the spiral effect: the better it gets, the better it gets.

Before long, you’ll wake up thinking, “Even if I could, I wouldn’t change a thing.”

What are your current goals that feel impossible? All goals takes time. And practice. And looking inward to your "why".

Hit reply and fill me in! 

Love ya,

Fitbabe x

Control vs Trust

#TRANSPARENCY  implies openness, communication, and accountability. Transparency is operating in such a way that it is easy for others to see what actions are performed. I am all about being transparent here at Deanna Harder Fitness.

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The picture on the left was taken 2 weeks after my Figure show in 2013, I was 112lb. (90 min of cardio a day, 6 weight training workouts and an extreme diet). The picture on the right was taken on Sunday night, Feb 5, 2017 and I am now 122lb. (4 strength training workouts focusing on squats and deadlifts, 2 density circuits or sprint workouts and a flexible diet). On Sunday, I was checking in with my coach( Jordan Syatt) feeling bloated and fat. I told him I look puffy all over and felt awful. I was then scrolling through old pics on my phone, and there I was, the exact same bikini, the same mirror but a different mind and body staring back at me. This body was fighting several colitis attacks, psoriasis break outs, and extreme bloating all month. But, I know that shit is temporary. My coach reminded me that my body does this every month. I know this and if you are a woman who did a lot of extreme dieting and exercise and are stressed out, your body most likely does too.

Transitioning off of the Figure Competition stage to a balanced life where I train to be strong and healthy took time. Here is what you need to know if this is YOU.

1) You must start to slowly back off the cardio and extreme dieting. This took me over 4 years. You will gain weight. It happens. And when it does, it involves mirrors, misery and meltdowns.

2) You will feel huge and bloated. This is water retention. It is not fat. Stay calm.

3) You will be just fine. You don't need to control your weight to be just fine. You can weather the panic and choose not to react to it with the former habitual go-to of restriction. It takes practice for sure. But you can do it. #moderation365#foodobsessionfreedom

4) Three F's of stress....you fight, you flight or you freeze! Your body can't distinguish between running from a raging bear or doing a spartan race! YOU NEED TO RELAX! I needed to relax and let go of controlling what I looked like and let my body fluctuate. I needed to trust it.

5) YOU MUST stop comparing yourself to how you looked when you competed- I have to do this too. I want to be STRONG. Being small is not my goal right now so stop it NUT! Here's to being strong and finding balance in your life. You really can have the best of both worlds. You just need to #trust the process.

6) Be kind to yourself when things are hard. Life is like the seasons. You can't change the seasons, so instead be prepared for things to go up and down.

I know that I am forever a work in progress and recovery from my ED. I know abs do not give me validation as a fitness expert, but I sure do love having them! #radicalvanity

This balance of control versus trust..... Control is an illusion. And trust is the opposite (and actually the ultimate in control). Trusting life, trusting the process, trusting the journey, trusting YOURSELF that you can handle anything that comes up – THAT. Is magical.

When you trust yourself to handle whatever happens as a result of your action (or non-action), it feels liberating. It’s releasing the urgency of needing to have all the answers and instead allowing yourself to simply relax into the process.

Anyway, I know some of you are terrified to let go of old habits, even when they are no longer serving you. You are not alone. I too was terrified. But I am so much happier now and you can be too.

By the way...Hug more- it releases oxytocin! ❤️ xDeanna

“Should I report an eating disorder?”

Hey guys! Because it is Eating Disorder Awareness Week ( http://nedic.ca/news/eating-disorder-awareness-week ) I wanted to discuss the sensitive subject on what to do if you suspect someone in your gym could be suffering from an exercise addiction or an eating disorder. It is extremely uncomfortable to watch someone day after day whittle themselves down to a skeleton like frame and not say anything. I received this question from a reader and originally posted it over at Feminist Figure Girl and wanted to share it over here on Deanna Harder Fitness. "We know that through open, supportive dialogue, we can help break the shame, stigma and silence that affect nearly a million Canadians living with a diagnosed eating disorder - and the millions of others struggling with food and weight preoccupation. Our message can bring important information about these illnesses to people across the country and spread hope to those affected."

Here was the question submitted by John, who was concerned with a young woman who he suspected was battling an eating disorder.

Dear Fitbabe, Hello, I am a regular gym goer, and have been observing a young girl who has an incredibly thin frame. She is always on the cardio equipment when I arrive, and is still on it after I have trained for an hour, showered and had a steam. I have mentioned her to the front desk staff and they say several others have brought it the attention of the personal trainers in the gym, but it is a difficult subject.  Should I approach this girl with concern? Doesn’t the gym have a moral obligation to intervene? I am worried about her and I don’t even know her!

Best Regards, John

A:  Thanks for raising this important issue, John. Your question is quite timely as I have been well aware of this happening in the gym I train out of. I too have noticed a young woman who is very thin, does hours of cardio, and then weighs herself obsessively in the ladies change room. Being a Professional Fitness and Lifestyle consultant, and someone who once suffered from disordered eating and obsessive exercising myself, I feel that I have the scope of practice to approach such individuals; however, this is always done WITH CARE AND CAUTION.

First of all, most personal trainers are not counselors, nor doctors, and may not have the required skills for undertaking this type of intervention. What’s more, it is difficult to make assumptions about who has an eating disorder based on appearance alone. There are in fact many people who look pretty normal but are suffering from bulimia, binge-eating, and other disordered eating patterns. I realize that it is possible to make an educated guess, and yet there are many cases where someone is hiding a disorder very well. If you decide to act, I think that it would be appropriate to establish a one-on-one relationship with the person before bringing up this issue. Then, in a non-threatening way, you can raise the subject. This approach would prevent the person at risk from feeling embarrassed, angry, or ashamed, potentially driving them toward increased isolation. Hopefully a trainer at the gym could develop this relationship, and then have some pamphlets, phone numbers and websites ready to offer help. I would suggest that you do not approach this person yourself unless you have the relationship mentioned above.

For me, this question raised general considerations about the potential for enabling unhealthy behaviors in our society. Why is it that fast food chains are not required to refrain from selling their horrible fattening foods to obese individuals, knowing that it is contributing to their disease? Alcoholics are not refused service in bars, gambling addicts are free to enter casinos. It seems that gyms should be similarly allowed to enable those with eating disorders to purge calories! After all, gyms are profit-driven businesses looking to drive up sales, are they not? Maybe they turn a blind eye to such paying customers for this reason. Just a thought….

More seriously, I hope that your gym does have someone with the right qualifications to get this person on the road to recovery. Such an intervention could save someone’s life.

All the best in health,

Fitbabe

Have you noticed people, men or women in your gym who may be over exercising to the point of serious health concerns? Have you brought it to attention of the staff at the gym? What was their response?

OR..do you have an eating disorder? If the way you eat and think about food interferes with your life and keeps you from enjoying life and moving forward, then that is disordered eating. Take it seriously and talk to someone who can help. You don't need to wait for a diagnosis by a doctor.

Clinical Eating Disorders

What exactly are clinical eating disorders? Clinical eating disorders include:

Anorexia nervosa

- When you lose a lot of weight because you're hardly eating anything, and might over-exercise. You probably can't or don't admit how underweight you are. You may not initially look very thin, but may be far too thin to support your health. You can be so thin that every bone in your body shows, but still feel "fat". When you feel fat it makes it hard to ask for help or hear advice from others because, to you, "fat" has come to mean "being bad". You could also know that you are much too thin but don't make changes because you're so afraid of food and gaining weight. To you, this would represent losing control over yourself.

Bulimia nervosa

- When you binge and purge. You eat out of control and then try to get rid of the calories. You fast, make yourself vomit, abuse laxatives, or exercise too much. These ways of purging harm your body and don't help you accomplish what you want. Your weight may go up and down a lot.

Binge eating disorder

- When you eat so much you're uncomfortable, eat to comfort yourself, eat in secret, or keep eating as part of a meal or between meals. You feel a lot of shame or guilt about your eating. Binge eating is also called compulsive eating. It is not the same as bulimia because you do not usually try to get rid of the food you've eaten.

Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (ED-NOS)

- When you experience a mix of anorexia, and/or bulimia, and/or binge-eating symptoms, but don't fall neatly into one of these medical categories, you may have an Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (ED-NOS). If you have an ED-NOS, you should also receive the help and resources provided to individuals who have a "neat" clinical diagnosis.

Any food and weight issues that limit your ability to live a full and pleasurable life are of concern. It doesn't matter if you don't clearly fit one of the clinical categories above – you still can and should seek help.

http://nedic.ca/give-get-help/overview

Hit reply and let's talk!

24559 NEDIC EDAW poster 2017_BRAIN

How to love sex when you do not love your body right now.

Hey everyone. Today over here at Deanna Harder Fitness, I am going to get a little freaky if I may. 

Let's talk about SEX!

 If you follow me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/deanna.harder.5# you may have noticed I have talking all about #VaginaKUNGFU! I have been diving deep into all things vagina love and I am learning so much from the amazing Kim Anami. http://kimanami.com/vaginal-kung-fu/   She is teaching me to own my feminine sexual power!  

"When your vagina is activated, meaning you are connected to it, you own it and it is integrated into your body and being, you are lit up. ⠀ You're lit!" You have access to your powerful, creative, life-force sexual energy and you can manifest your desires out into the world. ⠀

They don't call it "pro-creative" energy for nothing! "

For a long time ( like 5 years....5 fucking YEARS!!!) I was not in touch with my sexual side. I was obsessed with body perfection and didn't have any space to date or fuck men. I instead spent all my time training and eating to look a certain way, which in fact made me feel very unsexy. I hated how I looked in the mirror, and the thought of any man finding me desirable was inconceivable. I was leaner than ever, and felt unfuckable. It has only been since August that I have started to feel sexier again. I did some work on myself. I worked with an Endocrinologist who helped me optimize my hormones, naturally. I have put on body fat, gained muscle, and healed my relationship with food and exercise. My self confidence is high, therefore I radiate sexual desire. Confidence is sexy, insecurity not so much. Many of my clients who have gained weight, or have had babies, or are going through peri-menopause, or menopause are finding it harder and harder to enjoy sex because they no longer love their bodies. The media still praises tiny, slight, women with perfect breasts and flat stomachs as the most desired. But that shit isn't reality. WE ARE BUMPY, CURVY, SOFT, ROUND, AND JIGGLY! The truth is, if you love yourself, you can love sex right NOW! You are fuckable right now. You do not have to lose 20lb to be sexy. You can radiate sexuality right now if you start to connect with your body. Your body is beautiful right now, and if you love yourself, you will want to eat better, exercise and embrace your sexual desires. You and your spouse will thank-you. Sex will give you energy. Sex will empower you, it will make you walk taller, you will show up happier, more relaxed and with confidence.

How can we love sex, even if we may not love how we look??

1. OWN IT! Stand in the mirror and rock that body. Look at your curves. Touch yourself. Run your hands over your skin and feel how beautiful you are. Connect with yourself. You will get turned on IMMEDIATELY!

2. Get comfortable naked with the lights on in bed with your partner. Again, OWN IT. Rock it.Men do not care if you have a little extra body fat, in fact, most men tell me they love a woman with a little more thickness. Let go, let him see you, let him touch you and enjoy you. No man in his right mind will be turned off by a confident, sexually open women.

3. If you do not have a partner, or even if you do...start to touch yourself. Commit to self pleasure for 30 days. Get a vibrator, or begin to touch yourself, put your fingers inside yourself and explore! Do not feel embarrassed or ashamed. Your body is your own to explore. If you discover what makes you turned on, you will be able to direct your partner! He/she will love that.

Here are some of Kim Anami's tips on how to achieve an amazing organsm:

1) Every woman, every orgasm. Yes, vaginal—G-Spot, cervical—or nipple orgasms are available to every woman, everywhere. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

2) One is never enough. The more the merrier! A few orgasms in a session leave a woman feeling truly satisfied. One is just an appetizer. ⠀ 3) An orgasm a day keeps FUKME (Females Utter freaking out about absolutely nothing due to lack of phallic shapes, near, in or around their vaginas, leading to Kataclysmic, psychopathic Moments of intense and troubling repressed sExual tension) away. ⠀ 4) Go deep. The good stuff is in the vagina. The G-Spot and cervix are much deeper and more profound and even spiritual releases for a woman. ⠀ 5) Let it go. All orgasms are attained through surrender, especially the deeper, life-changing orgasms of the vagina. 
Watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwPVkfphC3c⠀ ⠀

So, ok, you do all the above and you still are not feeling sexy?  

WELL THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! If you are not able to relax and feel better about yourself, YOU NEED TO CHANGE IT. YOU NEED TO DO THE UNDERLYING WORK. Own it OR CHANGE IT! Take action. Action over anxiety. Take responsibility and acknowledge what you are not happy with. Or stop fucking complaining. Hire a trainer and get to the gym 3 days a week. Take a sexy salsa class. Start walking more. Practice self care by getting to bed earlier, take hot baths and meditate. Start to track your food intake and aim to get in a protein and veggie at each meal. Drink more water. Buy clothing that is flattering and makes you feel sexy. Get a new hair cut and flaunt your unique style. Commit and decide that where you are now is not where you want to be. Take action and just go after that confidence now. Once you make that appointment you will start to feel better immediately.

#wellfuckedwoman

#orgasm

#vaginaltruth

 #lovesexdesire #bodycondfidence #selfesteem #selflove

** Trigger warning. I am writing from my personal experience. I am not a sex expert. If you have experienced any sort of sexual trauma or are have deeper issues than I can help you with, please do not take this advice! This is a fun, flirty blog written to inspire those who may need a pick me up in their sex lives. I feel this information is in my heart to share, therefore I am qualified. The world needs you to love yourself. You deserve it  In case you didn't know this, you're pretty fucking special, you are AMAZING. 

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Loving yourself, revisited.

Hey loves. I want to share a post that I made on Facebook last month over here on my blog. I realize now I was using Facebook as a blog for so long, and so, I am re-posting them here. If you are new to Deanna Harder Fitness, you will need to know I only started blogging in October 2016, so I am a bit late to the party. Please read this very raw post and be sure to comment below. Love ya. DHx So, I am going to be vulnerable here and post this to help others who are struggling with self esteem and toxic people. I was working with a 20 something female client this week who is dating an asshole. He is constantly belittling her and she tells me how it makes her feel so insecure. This girl is FREAKING AWESOME! She has the most beautiful smile and she is smart and driven. I can't stand the thought of her letting anyone tell her otherwise. I know she will read this....so, here.. we... go!

I have been working on loving myself for my whole life. I finally started to feel pretty fuxking confident this last year, only after a decade of hard work. I opened myself up to dating even though I had braces, had gained some weight and felt ugly.

I dated a man briefly this summer who told me I shouldn't love myself so much. He told me that NO BODY should love themselves so much and that I was stupid for doing so. He would get angry when I would express happiness for how good I was feeling and he would tell me he didn't want to hear it. He told me he couldn't understand how I made it this far in life alone as to him I was still a child. He told me that I had it too easy because my parents loved me too much and gave me a great childhood!

He hated that I posted so much on social media and that I was too "into myself". He said he hated himself and he couldn't be around someone so happy. He always made me feel stupid and I would leave our visits feeling empty and sad. But, I wanted him to like me...which right there proves how easy it is for someone with low self esteem to attract an asshole.

Now that it ended I realized how WRONG HE WAS! YES....my parents gave me a great childhood...they loved the shit out of me. My mom and dad told me I could do anything I set my mind to if I worked hard..and so I DID! I went to college away from home. I moved to the city and I started my business alone. I bought my condo alone, traveled alone and made my life what it is alone. So if that makes me a child than YAY ME! I will forever be a child then. Yes, I post on social media teaching fitness and fun. I am willing to be messy and imperfect. Even in front of others. This is what I do for a living you idiot. If I don't love myself how can I expect anyone else to love me? How do I expect my clients to want to hire me?

Self-love is THE most important thing you need in order to have ANYTHING you want, to really make you happy, loved, and fulfilled. Without self-love you will constantly be wondering what is wrong with you, why things “never work out” and why you aren’t getting what you want. Self-love is the critical foundation in your happiness.

So fuxk that guy, and that is exactly what I told my client to tell her boyfriend who makes her feel bad. She needs to love herself and see how amazing she is if she wants to be happy with all aspects of her life.

Anyway...that is all I want to say about that.

Let's go and be awesome and fuxk those people that want to make you feel bad about loving yourself. Let go of things that aren’t serving you, including people.

How have you overcome a toxic relationship? Have you had trouble loving yourself? Can you be vulnerable and share with me here too? I would love that from you!

xxFitbabe

An Apology To My Body

I had this sent to me, long ago. I have saved it and read it over and over whenever I need a reminder of how far I have come. If anyone knows who wrote this, please let me know and I will be sure to give her credit. I have never had a baby, but it is a powerful message to my clients who have, and since are forever unsatisfied with their bodies. The only way out of it is through, when hating yourself doesn't work, try loving yourself. Love Fitbabe...

Dear Body:

I’m sorry that I’ve hated you. I’m sorry that I’ve cursed at you for being fat when 99% of the time you weren’t, and even if you were, it wasn’t your fault. I’m sorry that I wished you were different when all you ever were was good to me. I’m sorry that I compared you to others.

I’m sorry that I starved you when you needed food. I’m sorry for punishing you by going without food as a trade off for not exercising or being a certain weight on the scale. I’m sorry that I pushed you to the limits with too much exercise when you needed rest. On the treadmill I would run miles and miles, not in the name of fitness, and you said you couldn’t take anymore. I didn’t listen to you when you were trying to tell me to stop. You asked me for more calories and I said no.

You’ve always been there for me, even when I let you down. I’m so very lucky to have you. Legs: You’ve always been strong and taken me wherever I needed to go, even when I hated the thighs. Arms: I haven’t been too mean to you, but hands; lately I’ve been hateful by saying you look old and worn out. But you’ve been wonderful. And belly: I think I’ve been the worst to you. I’ve hated you since puberty. When you started to stick out and I realized I would never have a completely flat stomach like so many other girls did. I have loathed you for that and I’m sorry. You gave me the most precious gift I could ever ask for: my son,and soon another baby so go ahead and stick out all you want. And to my skin: I’ve been mean to you too, comparing you to others, wishing you were different. I’m sorry, you’ve been great too.

So I now say “Thank you” with all of my heart and soul. Thank you for doing your best all these years while enduring my negativity. Thank you for loving me back when I didn’t love you. And thank you for staying healthy. You are beautiful.

I love you. I really, really do. I love you now more than ever.

Love always,

Me

2016- A Year in Review

Hey there Fitness Freaks! I am not here to talk about my New Years resolutions. Nothing drastic is going to go down on January 1, other than getting up and starting 2017 with the same mindset and drive that I had in 2016. You see, I am a goal seeker, not a goal setter. For me, it is actually very black and white. I choose a goal, and then I go after it like a terrorist with intention and desire. So, I decide, I declare and I deliver. I have no idea how I became this way. I do not have parents who were highly driven. They were very content with a simple and quiet life. To me they are the King and Queen as they are happy and they are not constantly searching for that next best thing. Me however, I am a seeker. I am seeking challenges on purpose that make me uncomfortable. So, therefore, it seems very simple for me to attack a goal.

1. Set goal

2. take the obvious action steps to get there

3. trust the process

4. Do all the FUCKING things that allow me to get it accomplished!

NEXT!

2016 gave me a swift kick in the ass. I had some health issues that negatively impacted my life. I see now that these issues came into my life for a reason. There was a lesson in the madness, and for that I am grateful. These situations happened to me FOR me. So today, instead of talking about setting resolutions for 2017, I would like to ask you to join me in reflecting on 2016 and then ask yourself,

1. What didn't work?

2. What did work?

3. What were your major moments?

4. What can you learn from what didn't work as well as what did work? How can you use this information to set your intentions for 2017? Do you notice any patterns in your behaviors that are giving you blatant clues?

Let's get real, real, real here! From the heart..be honest. Take 30 minutes and sit and answer the above questions, then hit reply and let me know what you came up with! I love a good discussion.

Here are my answers:

What didn't work:

1. Hating myself. NOPE. FAIL. The more I hated myself, the more I hated how I looked naked, the more I punished myself more exercise and less calories, the worse I felt. Don't fucking do this ok????

2. Not owning my shit. Until I got really honest and uncomfortable with my issues around food and training, I was living a lie. I was a fraud. I didn't like how I showed up in the world.

3. Shutting people out. Especially my girlfriends. I fell deep into a depression, which was getting worse the more I would shut out my friends.

4. Being embarrassed by my braces on my teeth. I didn't smile for 2 years. When I stopped smiling, I know this made my depression worse.

5. Training every client that hired me. I know now I can only commit to training clients who I can really connect with. There is always an exchange of energy between every person you come into contact with. Choose carefully who you spend time with, as the wrong people will suck you dry.

6. Saying no to anything scary or that made me uncomfortable. Saying no kept me in a bubble. When I chose to say YES...things changed..that is leading us now into question number 2...

What did work:

1. Loving myself! OBVI! Loving yourself may mean that you appear to be unloving to others at times. This will be one of the most difficult aspects of self love.

2. Training to be strong, and not for a certain look. When I stopped chasing the ridiculous goal of looking shredded all the time, my body started to cooperate and I got leaner and stronger too!

3. Hiring a coach! I couldn't get out of my own way. Hiring my coach Jordan Syatt: (http://www.syattfitness.com/) was a massive game changer. He could see what was holding me back, and my programming is now out of my hands. This may have been one of the best decisions I could have ever made for my health and my business too. Having a coach is making me a better coach. Exercise works better if you enjoy it too, not as a punishment for what you ate.

4. Opening myself up to relationships with men. Sex works better if you enjoy it. Finding my confidence through self love made me enjoy being naked with a man and loving sex! ** even in the backseat of my car- I felt 16 again! ** At 39 years old, having the flexibility to do this is another reason to stay FIT AF!

5. Being vulnerable and starting my blog. I took action and decided to lay all the cards out on the table. I wanted to heal from my ED and obsessive exercise addiction, so I shared my story with the world. It is holding me accountable to continue to stay true to my goals and NEVER GO BACK!

6. Saying Yes...and dealing with it later. It is amazing and liberating. Trust yourself.

What were my highlights- TOP MOMENTS?

OHHH BABY!

1. Ripping my carpet out with Donloree! It was the start of a new beginning and a powerful friendship. Donloree, you are my angel.Check out my girl here: http://www.donloree.com/

2. Hiring my coach. I love you Jordan!

3. Getting to the bottom of my hormone issues. I now know I have a unicornate uterus, which means I can't have children. I have accepted this and feel better knowing that I am totally healthy and thriving even without my cycle. Life is a gift, and my uterus is perfectly imperfect. I really would have never known about this unless I wanted to start trying for babies, which I really am happy was not my path. It would have left me broken hearted. Now I feel so empowered by having this information in my corner.

4. Dating again. I love kissing. I love connecting, laughing and smiling just because it feels good to be intimate and close with a man.

5. Getting a photoshoot after my braces came off with the VERY TALENTED Demetri Giannitsios! He made the vision of my new brand Deanna Harder Fitness come alive, as you can see from the photos on this blog. I can't thank Demetri enough and am eternally grateful! We are now partners for life and I can't wait to work with him again. Check him out here: http://www.demetrigianni.com/

6. Flying to Vancouver to be with a man- SAYING YES TO ADVENTURE! It was exciting and liberating to just be trusting and empowered in my female sexuality. I didn't need validation from anyone. I could enjoy sex and not feel bad for it. Why don't more single women do this? I went in with no expectations which then left me with no expectation hangover. It’s all about that energy exchange. He is a wonderful friend and a super cool dude! :)

7. I auditioned to be a trainer in a weight loss TV show, and I got chosen! WOW RIGHT???? More on that in 2017. But essentially, myself and my client Angie were brought back for a second casting call, which led to signing a contract with Anaid Productions for a TV documentary on weight loss. I again have ZERO expectations and if we get signed on by a major network, then great, if not...I gave it 100% effort and took a chance. Play small, stay small!

8. Starting this wordpress blog. I love it. I love that I found Jill Coleman and signed up for her 6 week online fitness business course and took ACTION! I can't thank her enough. Check out Jill here: http://jillfit.com/

Going into 2017 I am going to stay true to my new found self. I am going to be vulnerable and share stuff that makes me uncomfortable. I am going to keep being loud, and not censor my thoughts or feelings. I will keep showing up apologetically ME. I am not going to hide that I have a fucking sailor mouth. I am going to keep getting stronger and stay true to my goal of #deadlifting 300lb and doing a back squat of 180lb at the body weight of around 120lb. I am going to eat all my fav foods in #moderation365 and drink #wine when I want to in moderation, even if it is 1pm on Tuesday. I am breaking all my former rules and I trust myself that I will be ok. I will show up to each and every client and open my arms with trust and excitement. I will be better than before. I know this. I will keep letting myself love greatly, even if it means I will get rejected again. I am love, and I will always love hard.

So, now...it is your turn. I can't wait to read your answers. Please take the time to write me back and let's get a discussion going. I will answer every single one of you!

Love ya,

Deanna

(Fitbabe)

Fat loss is hard.

Oh hi. Real quick before you become all consumed with the holiday hustle, I wanted to have you stop and take a minute to breathe and check in with yourself and your goals. Fat loss is hard any time of the year, but even more difficult at Christmas. You need to be aware of what is ahead. It is a mindset. Wrap your head around the fact that if you want sustainable fat loss you are going to have to dig your heals in and you have to be resilient and be consistent. What if you just had to focus on two things everyday? I have my fat loss clients only focus on 2 things..getting their protein in and keeping their calories to set number. YES, they need to own their food intake. They need to be accountable. You can't think yourself lean..you have to act as if you are lean and act and live in a way a lean person would. A lean person is aware of their calorie intake and make sure they are satisfied with high protein and satiating foods to keep their hunger, energy and cravings in check.

I can give someone a meal plan all day long, but to me that is not a skill as a coach, a skill as a coach is to keep someone accountable to their goals. I struggle too, which is why I even hired a coach to assist me with my goals. Our thoughts become our actions. If you constantly say, " I don't have time" then yah you wont have time. You need to believe you are worth it, you do have time. What we constantly tell ourselves determines our approach to life. PRIORITIES.

I can help you find work arounds...with food and workouts. Message me or hit reply and leave a comment. I will answer every single one of you!

I love taking action to GSD. #actionoveranxiety #actasif  #focus #onething #chooseyourwhy #habitchange #coachlove #dosomething

Giddy UP. Fitbabe xx

Why do I lift?

So, I decided that whenever I write a blog it is going to be written with brutal honesty. I also decided that I will be authentic and allow myself to be vulnerable. That means that some of you will read this and decide I AM NOT FOR YOU. I am ok with that. I am ok with the fact I may turn a lot of you off, and that is kind of cool because then I know for sure that the ones who are still here are only here because they like me. I am not in the convincing business. I am in the trust business. I think that building trust happens when one is shows up authentic.Who doesn't want to look good naked? Giggle 

Honestly, the number one reason I LIFT WEIGHTS? I love how it  makes me look. Saying that makes me feel silly and vain. But if vanity is what drives me, then so what? I am 39 years old and I feel like other than a few more wrinkles on my face I still look like I did when I was 25. I have just as much energy and enthusiasm for training and lifting as I did when I was 25. It is not by accident. It is because I have stayed motivated to look good, which in turn makes me feel good. The catalyst for me was those heavy weights. The weight training gave me self confidence, the self confidence made me feel good, feeling good made me feel attractive, feeling attractive made me want to keep lifting. For you it may be downhill skiing, or dancing. For me, it was weight training. 

Strong is SEXY AF! 

The second reason I love lifting weights is because I love being strong. Being strong is not something you can go and purchase in a store. You have to put in work. It is done by getting uncomfortable and showing up daily, weekly, monthly and yearly. Your body will adapt to the demands you place on it. If you demand very little from your body, then you get very little in return. Being strong also makes me feel sexy. Feeling sexy makes me feel good. So, again, we are back to the first point. When you feel good, you look better. You smile more, your walk taller. You show up to the world better. You can cope with stress better. Being strong is like money in the bank. Invest in yourself by adding more lean body mass to your body just like you would add money into a bank account. 

Wellness > Illness 

The third reason I lift? Because the alternative is illness. I choose wellness. It decreases my anxiety, it builds valuable bone mass, it helps me sleep better, it improves my sex life, my mood, my outlook on life. I love to show up to a goal and prove to myself that I am a person I can count on. I am accountable. Which makes me reliable. All that from 4 days a week in the weight room you ask? Yes, yes, yes. 

A regular strength training program helps you reduce body fat and burn calories more efficiently, which can result in a healthy weight loss. Strength training helps preserve and enhance your muscle mass and bone mass, regardless of your age. So start now. Regular weight lifting increases bone density, which reduces the risk of fractures and osteoporosis. This is really super important to me as I have had amenorrhea for 7 years. (Amenorrhea is the absence of a menstrual period.)

I know the reason I have lost my period is because of a decade of training for Figure Competitions, where I over exercised and dieted too strictly. This caused a lot of stress in my body.  I am currently working with an endocrinologist to continue to help me troubleshoot this issue. The loss of my period also means I am also at risk for osteoporosis, but because I have never quit strength training, my bone scan came up normal last March.

Let's wrap this up!

So ladies and gents, the point is lifting heavy weights has been a gift I have given myself that keeps on giving back to me. I know that lifting heavy isn't just good for your muscles and body composition, it is also good for your bones, your mind and your general disposition.  In order to see a lasting change to your body composition and experience long-term fat loss, you have to begin lifting heavy weights in an intentional way. As you progressively overload your body with more weight, you are requiring your muscles to work harder to lift that weight. This results in tiny little muscle tears that take hours for your body to repair. That repair process means you will be burning calories long after your workout is complete. And, while it may not feel like your weight training workout is burning many calories during, you will 100%  find yourself breathless and burning after a well planned strength training program, I promise!

Whew, that was fun. As I was putting myself on the hook to write this blog, I  reached out to my clients and asked them why they love to train. Here are some of the responses:

"I love to sweat and feel the burn! Makes me feel alive!" -Jessica.

"I exercise because ... it is my therapy. It is my time to put my headphones in, and lose the world. I sweat out all my frustrations, my negative self talk, my worries, my anger, and my doubts. I leave it at the gym, and walk out with a clear head. And I don't leave the gym until my head is clear! The days that I don't want to go are the days I need to go the most!" -Lynnette

"I exercise because I love the way it makes my body feel. I love sweating, seeing what I am capable of, and challenging myself to new things"  -Crystal F

"I exercise because I feel fantastic during and afterwards (usually about 10-20 minutes in, once I am very warm). I get endorphin rushes and like to feel very strong. I also like to have a nice overall shape (ie muscles supporting my back and shoulders) instead of a caved-in or slumping posture." Lianne

**also known as The Feminist Figure Girl

https://feministfiguregirl.com/

So, why do you train? Figuring out your why is so important! The better you understand what makes you tick, the more you will show up to your training. It will become a non-negotiable.

Please leave me a comment and tell me your why! I would love to hear from you. We are all in this shit together. Let's help each other and be awesome! 

Love you. 

Fitbabe

#deannaharderfitness #findyourwhy #health #strengthtraining #Actionoveranxiety #lovehowyoulive 

Picture below...39 years old and loving my body! XDH

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Does wine have a place in a fat loss plan?

Hello everyone. I have always loved to drink wine. It has become part of my brand so much so that I even used wine in my photoshoot to show that I firmly believe in a #Moderation365 way of eating and drinking. #Moderation 365 means there are no diets to get lean in 12 weeks, there are no foods off limits and how one eats on Tuesday is how one should eat on Saturday. This concept was shown to me by a mentor and fellow fitness professional Jill Coleman.  Jill Coleman is the owner of Jillfit.com http://jillfit.com/about/ and has helped me adapt this moderation approach vs an all or nothing mindset when it comes to how I eat and train. But, this wasn't always how I lived my life. As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I used to compete in Figure Shows. I did this for almost 10 years between the age of 26 and 36. During this decade of my life there was no such thing as moderation. I would stick to a strict meal plan all year, and an even more strict meal plan 12 weeks out from a contest. When you are dieting for a physique contest every morsel of food had to be accounted for. I diligently weighed, measured and tracked every thing I put in my mouth. If I wasn't prepping for a contest, I was still obsessed with my food. I would have wine on the weekends and count that as my "cheat"meal. I viewed food as good and bad, and wine was bad because it had empty calories and could contribute to fat gain. GASP..oh no!

I could go on and on about that decade, but I am not going down that rabbit hole. Today I want to focus on the transition I have made since my last show. Since 2014 I started trusting myself around food and slowly backed off my obsessive training and yes, I gained weight in the process. But after time my body weight leveled out and I am able to stay relatively lean while progressing in my strength goals. It has been 3 years since I stepped on stage and my weight jumped up from 114lb to 129lb, and now 3 years later I am stable at 120lb, right in the middle. I now eat foods I love daily including my beloved Red wine and it feels so liberating. It took patience, dedication and trust. ** and a lot of fuck ups along the way..trust me. I was a HOT mess**

I booked a photoshoot at the end of Sept 2016 as I felt it was time to re brand my fitness message from a ripped figure competitor to a curvier, sexier and healthier look which portrays how I believe a fit woman in her late 30's should be. I even included wine in my photoshoot as I had a vision. What would attract me to a trainer? Someone who had an unrealistic diet and crazy exercise programs or someone who allows a little freedom in their plans to create sane and sustainable results? Well, you know the answer to this one.

So how did I do it? How did I give up strict dieting and still get lean for a photoshoot?

I am writing this as if you and I are sitting in Starbucks having coffee by the way! Here are the steps that gave me success.

1. I created a calorie deficit by setting my calories slightly below maintenance. Once I had my calories and protein goals in check, I was able to just eat food that fit into these numbers. I had a coach to help me with this too! (I firmly believe even coaches need coaches too!)

2. I trained with heavy weights 4 days a week. Even though I was in a slight calorie deficit, I was training as heavy as I could, and I even got stronger throughout the 6 weeks I was preparing for my photoshoot.

3. I did metabolic conditioning 2 days a week. I love metabolic conditioning using dumbbell density circuits. I would do 4-6 compound exercises in a row for 15 min only resting when I had to. These were Short, Intense and Effective workouts.

4. I made sure to get a ton of sleep and I watched my stress levels. I had a bed time ritual. I would always shut down social media an hour before bed and make sure my body and mind were relaxed. If you're stressed out and not sleeping you will have trouble sticking to your calorie goal. Stress can increase your hunger and cravings, and when you are dieting on lower calories, you want to do your best to decrease hunger not increase it.

5. Once all of the above 4 steps are in place, THEN AND ONLY THEN I would add in wine. I would sub out 150 calories or 36 grams of carbs for a 6 oz glass of wine. ONLY if I got my workouts in, had been getting adequate sleep and if my stress was in check. I found sipping a glass of wine took the edge off my cravings and it helped me relax around food. I am not saying that wine is a magical fat loss food by any means, and for some people it is a trigger food. I am saying FOR ME, wine allowed me to chill the fuck out and enable me to stick to my lower calorie plan. For others they need a single serving of chocolate, a bit of bacon on their salad, or a few bites of a brownie.

There are no absolutes when it comes to fat loss. Every single one of you will have a different blue print. Every single one of you will have a formula that you need to find out on your own or with the guidance of a coach like myself who knows how to get you started. You see fat loss is really fucking simple. The diet industry likes to make it complicated to sell you the next shiny new plan to get you skinny in 30 days. DO NOT BUY INTO THE HYPE. There is a better way if you are willing to put in some work and do it right.

Here are some pics to show you the 6 week progress. Picture 1, August 15- 6 weeks out of my shoot. Picture 2, October 1 after my photoshoot. I tightened up a lot in my opinion. Pictures 3 and 4, well..the finished product as seen on this website..weights to wine!

So what am I doing now? Since October, I have raised my calories and am calorie cycling in order for me to still maintain a lean physique. My body weight is still stable at around 120lb. I train heavy, I sprint or do density circuits often, and I still allow myself to drink wine on most nights of the week.

I write this from a place of honesty and compassion. I have struggled with my body image and food anxiety for over 20 years. I finally have come into a place of moderation and balance. This didn't happen overnight but it is worth the time and effort I promise you.

Do you want to get off the diet roller coaster? Have you had similar experiences with how you view food and exercise? I am here for you. Leave a comment below or email me and lets talk!

Love, Fitbabe

#moderation365 #sustainability #likehowyoueat #weightstowine #actionoveranxiety