Hey there Fitness Freaks! I am not here to talk about my New Years resolutions. Nothing drastic is going to go down on January 1, other than getting up and starting 2017 with the same mindset and drive that I had in 2016. You see, I am a goal seeker, not a goal setter. For me, it is actually very black and white. I choose a goal, and then I go after it like a terrorist with intention and desire. So, I decide, I declare and I deliver. I have no idea how I became this way. I do not have parents who were highly driven. They were very content with a simple and quiet life. To me they are the King and Queen as they are happy and they are not constantly searching for that next best thing. Me however, I am a seeker. I am seeking challenges on purpose that make me uncomfortable. So, therefore, it seems very simple for me to attack a goal.
Set goal
take the obvious action steps to get there
trust the process
Do all the FUCKING things that allow me to get it accomplished!
NEXT!
2016 gave me a swift kick in the ass. I had some health issues that negatively impacted my life. I see now that these issues came into my life for a reason. There was a lesson in the madness, and for that I am grateful. These situations happened to me FOR me. So today, instead of talking about setting resolutions for 2017, I would like to ask you to join me in reflecting on 2016 and then ask yourself,
What didn't work?
What did work?
What were your major moments?
What can you learn from what didn't work as well as what did work? How can you use this information to set your intentions for 2017? Do you notice any patterns in your behaviors that are giving you blatant clues?
Let's get real, real, real here! From the heart..be honest. Take 30 minutes and sit and answer the above questions, then hit reply and let me know what you came up with! I love a good discussion.
Here are my answers:
What didn't work:
Hating myself. NOPE. FAIL. The more I hated myself, the more I hated how I looked naked, the more I punished myself more exercise and less calories, the worse I felt. Don't fucking do this ok????
Not owning my shit. Until I got really honest and uncomfortable with my issues around food and training, I was living a lie. I was a fraud. I didn't like how I showed up in the world.
Shutting people out. Especially my girlfriends. I fell deep into a depression, which was getting worse the more I would shut out my friends.
Being embarrassed by my braces on my teeth. I didn't smile for 2 years. When I stopped smiling, I know this made my depression worse.
Training every client that hired me. I know now I can only commit to training clients who I can really connect with. There is always an exchange of energy between every person you come into contact with. Choose carefully who you spend time with, as the wrong people will suck you dry.
Saying no to anything scary or that made me uncomfortable. Saying no kept me in a bubble. When I chose to say YES...things changed..that is leading us now into question number 2...
What did work:
Loving myself! OBVI! Loving yourself may mean that you appear to be unloving to others at times. This will be one of the most difficult aspects of self love.
Training to be strong, and not for a certain look. When I stopped chasing the ridiculous goal of looking shredded all the time, my body started to cooperate and I got leaner and stronger too!
Hiring a coach! I couldn't get out of my own way. Hiring my coach Jordan Syatt: (http://www.syattfitness.com/) was a massive game changer. He could see what was holding me back, and my programming is now out of my hands. This may have been one of the best decisions I could have ever made for my health and my business too. Having a coach is making me a better coach. Exercise works better if you enjoy it too, not as a punishment for what you ate.
Opening myself up to relationships with men. Sex works better if you enjoy it. Finding my confidence through self love made me enjoy being naked with a man and loving sex! ** even in the backseat of my car- I felt 16 again! ** At 39 years old, having the flexibility to do this is another reason to stay FIT AF!
Being vulnerable and starting my blog. I took action and decided to lay all the cards out on the table. I wanted to heal from my ED and obsessive exercise addiction, so I shared my story with the world. It is holding me accountable to continue to stay true to my goals and NEVER GO BACK!
Saying Yes...and dealing with it later. It is amazing and liberating. Trust yourself.
What were my highlights- TOP MOMENTS?
OHHH BABY!
Ripping my carpet out with Donloree! It was the start of a new beginning and a powerful friendship. Donloree, you are my angel.Check out my girl here: http://www.donloree.com/
Hiring my coach. I love you Jordan!
Getting to the bottom of my hormone issues. I now know I have a unicornate uterus, which means I can't have children. I have accepted this and feel better knowing that I am totally healthy and thriving even without my cycle. Life is a gift, and my uterus is perfectly imperfect. I really would have never known about this unless I wanted to start trying for babies, which I really am happy was not my path. It would have left me broken hearted. Now I feel so empowered by having this information in my corner.
Dating again. I love kissing. I love connecting, laughing and smiling just because it feels good to be intimate and close with a man.
Getting a photoshoot after my braces came off with the VERY TALENTED Demetri Giannitsios! He made the vision of my new brand Deanna Harder Fitness come alive, as you can see from the photos on this blog. I can't thank Demetri enough and am eternally grateful! We are now partners for life and I can't wait to work with him again. Check him out here: http://www.demetrigianni.com/
Flying to Vancouver to be with a man- SAYING YES TO ADVENTURE! It was exciting and liberating to just be trusting and empowered in my female sexuality. I didn't need validation from anyone. I could enjoy sex and not feel bad for it. Why don't more single women do this? I went in with no expectations which then left me with no expectation hangover. It’s all about that energy exchange. He is a wonderful friend and a super cool dude! :)
I auditioned to be a trainer in a weight loss TV show, and I got chosen! WOW RIGHT???? More on that in 2017. But essentially, myself and my client Angie were brought back for a second casting call, which led to signing a contract with Anaid Productions for a TV documentary on weight loss. I again have ZERO expectations and if we get signed on by a major network, then great, if not...I gave it 100% effort and took a chance. Play small, stay small!
Starting this wordpress blog. I love it. I love that I found Jill Coleman and signed up for her 6 week online fitness business course and took ACTION! I can't thank her enough. Check out Jill here: http://jillfit.com/
Going into 2017 I am going to stay true to my new found self. I am going to be vulnerable and share stuff that makes me uncomfortable. I am going to keep being loud, and not censor my thoughts or feelings. I will keep showing up apologetically ME. I am not going to hide that I have a fucking sailor mouth. I am going to keep getting stronger and stay true to my goal of #deadlifting 300lb and doing a back squat of 180lb at the body weight of around 120lb. I am going to eat all my fav foods in #moderation365 and drink #wine when I want to in moderation, even if it is 1pm on Tuesday. I am breaking all my former rules and I trust myself that I will be ok. I will show up to each and every client and open my arms with trust and excitement. I will be better than before. I know this. I will keep letting myself love greatly, even if it means I will get rejected again. I am love, and I will always love hard.
So, now...it is your turn. I can't wait to read your answers. Please take the time to write me back and let's get a discussion going. I will answer every single one of you!
Love ya,
Deanna
(Fitbabe)
