Hey loves. I want to share a post that I made on Facebook last month over here on my blog. I realize now I was using Facebook as a blog for so long, and so, I am re-posting them here. If you are new to Deanna Harder Fitness, you will need to know I only started blogging in October 2016, so I am a bit late to the party. Please read this very raw post and be sure to comment below. Love ya. DHx So, I am going to be vulnerable here and post this to help others who are struggling with self esteem and toxic people. I was working with a 20 something female client this week who is dating an asshole. He is constantly belittling her and she tells me how it makes her feel so insecure. This girl is FREAKING AWESOME! She has the most beautiful smile and she is smart and driven. I can't stand the thought of her letting anyone tell her otherwise. I know she will read this....so, here.. we... go!
I have been working on loving myself for my whole life. I finally started to feel pretty fuxking confident this last year, only after a decade of hard work. I opened myself up to dating even though I had braces, had gained some weight and felt ugly.
I dated a man briefly this summer who told me I shouldn't love myself so much. He told me that NO BODY should love themselves so much and that I was stupid for doing so. He would get angry when I would express happiness for how good I was feeling and he would tell me he didn't want to hear it. He told me he couldn't understand how I made it this far in life alone as to him I was still a child. He told me that I had it too easy because my parents loved me too much and gave me a great childhood!
He hated that I posted so much on social media and that I was too "into myself". He said he hated himself and he couldn't be around someone so happy. He always made me feel stupid and I would leave our visits feeling empty and sad. But, I wanted him to like me...which right there proves how easy it is for someone with low self esteem to attract an asshole.
Now that it ended I realized how WRONG HE WAS! YES....my parents gave me a great childhood...they loved the shit out of me. My mom and dad told me I could do anything I set my mind to if I worked hard..and so I DID! I went to college away from home. I moved to the city and I started my business alone. I bought my condo alone, traveled alone and made my life what it is alone. So if that makes me a child than YAY ME! I will forever be a child then. Yes, I post on social media teaching fitness and fun. I am willing to be messy and imperfect. Even in front of others. This is what I do for a living you idiot. If I don't love myself how can I expect anyone else to love me? How do I expect my clients to want to hire me?
Self-love is THE most important thing you need in order to have ANYTHING you want, to really make you happy, loved, and fulfilled. Without self-love you will constantly be wondering what is wrong with you, why things “never work out” and why you aren’t getting what you want. Self-love is the critical foundation in your happiness.
So fuxk that guy, and that is exactly what I told my client to tell her boyfriend who makes her feel bad. She needs to love herself and see how amazing she is if she wants to be happy with all aspects of her life.
Anyway...that is all I want to say about that.
Let's go and be awesome and fuxk those people that want to make you feel bad about loving yourself. Let go of things that aren’t serving you, including people.
How have you overcome a toxic relationship? Have you had trouble loving yourself? Can you be vulnerable and share with me here too? I would love that from you!
xxFitbabe
