Body Image post Physique Competition

Lianne McTavishIsa Fontbona and I are working on a Collaboration- An Autoethnography based on the Figure * in North America / Women’s Body Fitness division in Europe and the metamorphose leading up to competition. We are discussing our body image in our extremes and then in the current situation in which we live.

This sport is not for everyone. But if you separate the body you have on stage to be judged from the body which is healthy and living everyday life, you can compete and be mentally ok.

The problem lies when women/ men / all genders try and stay contest lean all year and forever !

Isa says “ I feel bewildered because neither my body on stage nor my body after competition corresponds with who I am”

Isa is in full Off season and plans to put on more size and strength coming into her next contest. She is working on her PHD and needs to focus on her studies.

Lianne however is not stressed at all by her “new size” or shape and enjoys being strong. **she also gave birth only a few years after her contest. She has no plans to compete again. Lianne is a Professor in the History of Art, Design and Visual Culture, and has authored the book of her transformation- Feminist Figure Girl - where she explores body image, fat studies, identity politics- a new way of thinking about feminism, the female culture and the female body.

Deanna - for me I struggle. I am a Personal Trainer and value the fit-lean physical body. I have had years where I stayed lean and was stubborn. I continued to eat and train like I was pre contest- and now I am suffering the consequences of hypothalamic amenorrhea, hormone issues and chronic fatigue. I am constantly comparing my body to my leanest and wake up daily wanting to dive back into a contest prep. But I quickly remind myself I like wine and sleeping in and having hormones that allow me to ovulate! 😂 So stay tuned if you are interested in our project.

We are all aware that our bodies on stage were not sustainable nor healthy. We know it is absolutely crucial that we remember it was a day to show case our body art - and that this extreme can’t be our new normal life.

Here is a photo of the three of us on competition day.

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Here is a current photo from a #LIFTANDBITCH session last week.

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Both of the bodies feel strange to ME.

Are you a Physique competitor struggling with your body image? Or have you been through a body transformation and find you can't maintain it unless you are restricting food and obsessing about exercise? If the body weight you are at right now is a result of restriction, obsessive exercise, and chronic stress, then, well...this is not a natural weight for you.

Hit reply and talk to me. I am here to help.

xFitbabe

A little #peptalk

#peptalk I don’t care what’s happening in your life today. It will get better.⠀ It gets better. I’ve been sick, really sick. I’ve been heart broken. #rip💔 I’ve battled some hard times, and have had times of feeling so hopeless.⠀

But, I know that I know, no matter what, it will get better. That’s what I learned from my hard times.

If you have a set back, trust now that it will always get better.

For today, all we have to do is:⠀ Show up. ⠀ Trust.⠀

Repeat.

If you need someone to talk to or are looking for a coach to get you on track..I am here.

XFitbabe

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If your workout didn't burn calories, would you still do it?

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“If you knew your exercise program didn’t burn any calories, would you still do it?”

Lately I have been asking my clients this question, and I shared this post on Facebook today to open up the dialogue over there as well. https://www.facebook.com/deanna.harder.5

I have finally come to a place where I train to be strong and not to chase a calorie burn. 

Years ago my answer to this question would’ve been so much different.

In those days, exercise was ruled by my heart rate monitor, how many calories I burned and how many miles I logged.

I know there are many people out there now doing this right now. You may be one of them. It sucks to be a slave to a device that really knows nothing about YOU internally.

In the last few years my priorities and reasons for working out have changed. I workout because it makes me stronger; fitter and gives me a mental break from the day.

I enjoy pushing myself; accomplishing new skills and strengths. I know that it will burn calories; ok awesome. But it is not the motivation behind why I show up to my workouts.  I am doing personal bests - getting that 300lb deadlift- **conventional deadlift this time not sumo**, 1km row in 4:15 and 10 consecutive pull-ups.

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These are measurable goals that go beyond how many calories I burn.

THESE GOALS REQUIRE ADEQUATE REST AND NUTRITION!  

I do not workout to eat. I workout to workout. I eat to eat.

I hear people say all the time, “I workout so I can eat (or eat more). Or drink more.” That’s a vicious cycle of binge; workout, feel like crap; binge, workout. That’s no way to live. And chances are; your body isn’t changing the way you want it to if that’s how you operate.

If you can learn to eat in such a way that you aren’t rewarding yourself with food based on your calorie burn and your workouts are seen as a “bonus” in your day; your relationship with food and your body will change in a positive way.

So what’s your answer? Would you continue your exercise program if you knew it didn’t burn any calories at all?

This is the stuff I want to dig into with a little thing I am calling

#TheConfidenceProject.

A 4 week coaching program myself and another coach SammyJo Braithwiate are getting ready to launch. A free program for 20 women who want to level up - mindset, health, fitness and nutrition. Stay tuned for all of the juicy deets. Click on the link if you want to learn more about SJ! 

https://www.instagram.com/lifestylerising/?hl=en

Let's GO! 

xDGH Fitbabe 

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A Competitive Dancer's Recovery Story

I am here tonight to share an amazing story of a woman who went from broken to BAD ASS!  This is a testimonial of what can happen when you stop training and eating in way that is harmful and disordered, to training and eating to THRIVE. 

I have spoken a lot lately about my eating disorder and exercise addiction. 

My goal is to help women stop OBSESSING over exercise and RESTRICTING their nutrition. I want to help them see results by training in a healthy way, without slipping back into their restrictive or disordered eating tendencies. 

For me, pursing what I thought was the perfect body stole my health and happiness. The crazy amount of sacrifice it took to become lean provided little (if any) reward. I have found much more fulfillment in eating and training well, treating my body with love, and appreciating all the amazing things my body does for me each day.

Please take a moment to read this amazing story of my client who has asked to keep her identity private. She has been super vulnerable here, and I can't thank her enough for sharing this with me and my readers.

"For as long as I can remember, I have been hyper aware of my body—yes, that’s part of the course for being a woman, but it was also part of being a competitive dancer.

Every negative thought, every critique in my head was in the sound of my dance teachers voice and was matched with an urgency to fix it or focus on it in a way that only a teenage girl can.

At 5’8” and 96 pounds there wasn’t many flaws to find, but in a room full of mirrors and an opinionated teacher, the slightest crease or deviance from the group felt like there was a spotlight highlighting my every insecurity.

My fingers felt too stiff, my chin too soft, my back too much of a sway, my ribs too flabby, and my toes not pointed as much as a classmate next to me. As silly as those critiques seem to me now, it was my entire world back then.

I remember standing over the scale at my first weigh-in and vowing to myself that the needle would never pass 100—as my lunches dwindled to cucumbers and my dinners to cliff bars, my goal seemed realistic.

My weight was remaining steady and I felt the itch to do more, apparently dancing 25-35 hours a week wasn’t enough. Soon I was taking acrobatic hot yoga every morning before high school, and doing the Insanity workout DVD’s every evening after I put in my hours at the studio.

I felt like I was doing something right; my teachers began to praise me, I got the centre positions in numbers, was asked to do demonstrations to the class, and was seen as a “studio favourite” by making student of the week—who cared that I went through a bottle of Tylenol a week and had my physiotherapist on speed-dial? So naturally, I felt like I needed to take it further.

Soon I was kneeling over the toilet at thanksgiving because the mashed potatoes weren’t worth it, and I was pushing myself through minor injuries because the perfect student makes it look easy.

After several years of this method, the minor injuries turned into major ones—ripped fascia’s in my calves, dislocated hips, ripped patella femoral ligament in my knee, ripped hamstrings, cracked bones in my back/neck, and turning a simple heart murmur into a condition requiring daily medication and tracking by a cardiologist.

I danced my last show when I was 18, and underneath all of the physical pain, I felt agony instead of relief. I had spent my entire life dancing, had no friends outside of the studio, and now had all of this spare time to overthink.

Now, I have what I was missing—balance. With the help of Deanna, I have been able to focus on being strong and healthy, finding clothes that are worthy of the body I have worked for, and understanding that I deserve all of the good things in life.

At 127.4 pounds (and climbing), I feel happier and more successful than I ever did at 96 pounds—all it took was looking at my life in a different perspective, several years to repair the emotional damage, a supportive partner, and good food and wine. 

-xo

If you feel like you are going through something similar, please reach out to me. 

When your body is talking to you, try your best to listen. It's not easy, but every little bit gets you closer to appreciating that our bodies are working so hard to keep us going. 

The road to recovery is long and hard, but it is worth it.  My eating disorder is a part of me but it is not all of me.

Love Deanna.

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Body Obsession

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In 2013 I would workout 2 times a day, 7 days a week. I would eat 6 strict measured meals and never deviate from my plan. I would train to burn calories. I was always exhausted, injured, hungry, and my hormones crashed. I was miserable.

Today, I train with heavy weights 4 days a week and do some sort of sprint workout 1-2 days a week, and walk a lot. I eat all foods using a #moderation365 approach. ❤️

For ME, pursuing what I thought was the perfect body was actually destroying my health and taking away my happiness. The crazy amount of sacrifice it took for me to get lean and stay lean provided very little return on investment. Now I have found much more fulfillment by eating and training in a healthy way, treating my body with love and appreciating all the amazing things my body has done for me and continues to do for me each and every day.

Is achieving a six pack worth damaging your health?

When does the pursuit of the perfect body become an obsession?

I was able to discuss this topic on @ctvedmonton. We spoke on why the pursuit of the perfect body is not healthy, especially considering nothing will be different about your life after achieving a six pack - regardless of what you think will happen....😭😕

Here is the link to the clip.

https://edmonton.ctvnews.ca/video?clipId=1404378

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My goal is to help women stop obsessing over exercise and restricting their nutrition. I want to help them see results by training and eating in a healthy way, without slipping back into their restrictive or disordered tendencies.

If you or someone you know needs help with restriction and over exercising, please hit reply and allow me to help.

XFitbabe

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“Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized.”

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Every time I drink a glass of wine, I take time to sip it, savor it and enjoy it. Wine has given me such a gift. It slows me down in a way....it is not easy for me to do this, but wine, wine helps me slow down, and be in the moment. It is almost meditative. I think about life, dreams and have gratitude.

#Wine has helped me heal my relationship with food. It makes every meal an event.

** see the quote above in my title!**

So some of you may think I am crazy. You may drink a few glasses of wine and then go off the rails.

For me it is not about getting a buzz...which, by the way is fabulous too, it is about slowing down, tasting my food, sipping my wine and just well, relaxing.

I have put too much work in to go back to my old ways- of restricting and over-training.

I healed my ED through wine. I had no idea that you can enjoy all things in moderation, and still look and feel fabulous!

I can enjoy food, wine and life...

I owe a lot to wine. The ritual, the knowledge, you have to appreciate it.

So amazing.

I have been taking wine education courses and am in the early stages of becoming a bit of a wine expert! This is so exciting for me. I love learning all about the process of wine making. You learn about horticulture, geology, weather, culture, and history, and all sorts of things! It is an art form. I love it.

I talk a lot about drinking wine with my clients. Not because I think they too should drink wine everyday or because I think it is a perfect health food.

I talk about it is because it is an element of my diet that helps me maintain my weight.

Not directly, but it helps take the edge off cravings so that throughout the day I don't have to rely solely on willpower to avoid over eating because later in the evening I will get my craving met with a glass of wine.

Indulging in your treat a few times a week will not make or break your physique but whether you are mindful or not will.  

It’s not my job, or your job to eat 100% perfect 100% of the time. It’s our job to eat foods we love, take care of our bodies and show ourselves some respect through our food choices. That means choosing foods that satisfy us both physically and psychologically. Take the pressure off. There’s more to life than obsessing over what you eat or don’t eat.

If you are struggling with being too strict or avoiding foods or eliminating them from you diet and want a little food freedom give this a try and let me know how it goes.

You can even email me right now for accountability and tell me what food you are going to practice with.

“Wine makes every meal an occasion, every table more elegant, every day more civilized.”

......And let us all appreciate the #Parisian life! 

Cheers!

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Sleep, Stress, and San Diego.

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Chronic EYE twitches. Severe bloating and digestive issues. Psoriasis breakouts. Daily soreness and general malaise. Anyone?

Does your body ever tell you to rest but your hard driven mind says you have to workout or you’ll gain weight?

Just so you know, I do this too. You’re not alone in this way of thinking.

Even as recent as last year if I didn’t work out everyday I felt fat. I would tell myself "you’re lazy, you are a professional trainer, walk the walk or you’ll gain weight if you don’t work out"

Here is how you turn this shit around.  You have to STOP following some random diet and fitness program and START paying attention to your body’s signals. Listen to your body. It is telling you exactly what to do.

If you are always tired, feel bloated, swollen or puffy, have no motivation, feel chronically sore, on edge, easily annoyed, have overwhelming cravings, feelings of overwhelm, TAKE SOME TIME OFF.  take a day off, or a whole week off like I did in San Diego.

I assure you, actually I promise you that YOU WILL NOT GAIN WEIGHT.

Last week in San Diego I did an experiment. I ate less, and exercised less, and relaxed.  I ended up sleeping 9 + hours every night, walked a ton, ate intuitively and just lived in the moment. I ended up dropping 4lb of scale weight and my body just looked so much better.

How is this possible? Why did doing so, so much less, I was able to drop some weight and look and feel better? Well, your body holds on to water and bloat during times of chronic stress, and yes exercise is also a stress. When I gave my  body a break from the gym, opted for long walks and used long hot showers as a form of stress relief, I dropped some bloat and some water weight.

Training and recovery is all about finding your sweet spot. How much, how often and how intense will differ for everyone. As a coach, I help clients find that sweet spot. How do you know? You will know when weight will even out, your clothes always fit, your hunger, energy and cravings will be similar day to day.

This will take time. It will take practice. You will need to experiment with different modes of exercise, increasing your sleep, and listening to your hunger signals.

When I was in San Diego, I was able to finally practice an eat less and exercise less lifestyle. I wasn't training 8-10 clients a day, I wasn't lifting heavy weights nor was I doing any long duration or intense cardio, so naturally, my appetite was suppressed. This just shows you how much exercise drives up your hunger, and why I do not use cardio as a fat loss tool.

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Here is what my 5 days looked like: There is a difference between exercise and movement.

Day 1- walk 1 mile at a leisurely pace to get a coffee down the beach, walk 1 mile home sipping my coffee.

walked to the grocery store and back in the afternoon- carrying my bags home- another 30 minutes of movement.

Day 2- as above- coffee walk

Late afternoon- 8x100 m sprints on the beach - sprint 100 meters, walk back to recover- this took me 10 minutes!

Day 3- walk 30 minutes to the end of the beach with Becky- walk back - 1 hour walk.

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Day 4- walk 1 mile to the Pacific Pier, 100 walking lunges on the beach- walk back - flirted with 2 US Marines on the beach who were throwing a football. I actually had many conversations with men here. I love American men! LOL

Day 5- 8x100 meter sprints on the beach- sprint 100 meters, walk back to recover

walk with Becky to get coffee and relax.

EVERY day I walked, I slept 8-10 hours, and I ate small snacks and one large meal a day.

I also drank wine and prosecco every day. At least 3 glasses. But I didn't worry about it as I was drinking a ton of water and I know my body isn't made or broken in one week.

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Result- a scale drop of 4lb and my belly bloat was gone. My psoriasis disappeared and my eye twitches, which I have been getting for 6 months went away.

I know getting more sunshine and sleep is what made this happen. I also ate slowly, without distractions, and with good company. Humans need humans and social networks in real life and not on Facebook are important. I live alone and sometimes wonder if my life would be different if I had a partner to share my life with.

I loved how I felt while on this vacation. I realize my life is lacking some very important elements.

So, now being back home I am going to try and keep this going. Now that spring is here I need more sunshine, more outdoor activity, less gym time, and a lot more sleep.

Sleep is restorative. It allows you to recover from hard training sessions.

Sleep resets your brain. We do a lot of thinking and that is taxing on our bodies. Sleep allows us to recharge and reset after a long day.

Sleep is when we burn the most fat. Getting enough sleep also helps us be more alert and refreshed the next day... and when we're in sleep debt, we tend to overeat more so than we would being fully refreshed.

The metabolism is adaptive & reactive. Many of us think that if we eat less and work out more we will lose weight, but that's simply NOT always true. In fact, doing so is often a recipe for weight gain. Taking time to eat less and train less may be just what you need. I finally was able to experiment with this myself and it works! Now I am ready to get back on a eat more, exercise more program for a few weeks. Then I will repeat a week of the above, eating less and training less. I am excited to help you all dig into this too.

Are you having issues with stress and weight loss resistance? Effective programming may be just what you need. As always, hit reply and let me know if you need help. I have coaching spots open in May.

Yours in strength,

Fitbabe x

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Single, 40 and childless.

I am 40 and have only had a few short-term relationships. For a long time I believed I was content to be single and not have kids, but I recently met someone and wound up liking him a lot, and then quite suddenly it wasn't working and was over. Just like that. As fast as he came into my life, he left.

Since then I've found myself grieving, rather intensely, the possibilities I thought he represented to me - making a home with someone, having a partner, loving, being loved, being able to trust someone, being trusted. Even though I have accepted that children are not in the picture for me and in many ways this is a good thing, I am also grieving the children I won't have.

What are the good things about being alone, being self employed and not having children?

I can dedicate my time to my career or to other interests, like take a wine course on a Wednesday and indulge in long workouts, sometimes for over an hour at a time if I want to. My superpower is my time- it is a gift, which I can give to who or whatever I want to.  I can be the best aunt, sleep in, go for 2 hour hikes and listen to NoFX really loud in my car. I can have the best career doing what I love and work the hours I want to. I can do random acts for strangers and donate to charity to feel like I am giving back.

Being single and childless, you can do what you want, whatever you want, whenever you want. Case and point...my client offered my a Luxury condo to stay in on Mission Beach, San Diego- last minute. Like in 10 days last minute.

I said yes immediately and booked my flights.

Next I reached out to all my Radiance sisters:

https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/radianceretreat2017/?hl=en

as well as a few single, self employed, childless girlfriends to ask if anyone wanted to take a last minute holiday!  I would argue that as long as you foster friends, care about others, and have people who care about you, you are never "alone.  I am so excited my sister Becky from Dallas, Texas was available...most likely because she too, being self employed and childless can also say yes to a last minute holiday! YAY! You can check out Becky here- She is a fellow fitness entrepreneur who is crushing it! https://www.instagram.com/bkinetic/?hl=en

So, to all my single and childless sisters.. remember that marriage is not a guarantee of security. LIVE your life, set out your goals, work towards attaining them and always be fabulous. Say yes more than you say no. Don't write yourself off. You have to believe that the best is yet to come and your best self has yet to be realized.

If I meet someone who wants to kick ass with me along the way , then great. He is more than welcome to accompany me on this ride.  Life is sometimes hard, and lonely, and awful. Life is sometimes sweet, and amazing, and beautiful. What adventures are coming? Who will I meet next?

**PS for sure I am going to tour the  Miramar Naval Air Station...TOP GUN ANYONE???

http://www.miramar.marines.mil

Hit reply and let me know if you too are single, childless and want to find your tribe!

xDGH Fitbabe

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How do I stop myself from binge eating?

"Deanna, I am at the point where I'm wondering if I'll ever "get it"? You know? I think my biggest challenges are snacking (working from home - the pantry is right there!) and then getting busy, putting my needs last, and then being starving and making a poor choice or just eating too much. I find I can't stop eating at night. What can I do?"From Food Crazed Momma

Ahhh yes! Food Crazed Momma!! I know how you feel.

3 years ago, I was in a completely different state of mind. I was completely obsessed with food. What to eat, how much to eat, tracking calories, do I eat "clean foods" only or do I try the moderate route? How often do I eat? If I don't eat every 3 hours, will my metabolism slow down. Will I then get fat if I only eat a 1000 calories?

I literally got so tired of the food worry, that I just gave up...for awhile anyway. I was about 7-10 pounds over my comfort weight, I was binge eating all the time, and then feeling like I had to make up for my binges with massive amounts of exercise. I was exhausted, mentally and physically. And honestly, I was tired of trying. I just wanted to be normal, whatever that meant.

"Why in the hell can't I figure this out? I am a CSEP Certified Fitness and Lifestyle consultant, I have been coaching this stuff for years, I have been coached by some of the best in the business, I have all the certifications, etc. This can't be that hard!"

And I knew I wasn't happy with myself. Inside or out. I wanted to live a life where I could just eat all food in moderation, stop obsessing about having a treat now and then and having it not lead to doing "guilt" cardio.

I wanted to fuel my body properly, get to a feel good weight, enjoy food and stop feeling like a psycho.

You need to decide that your environment can't dictate how you eat...instead YOU are always in control of what goes into your mouth! Working at home doesn't have to be the reason you can't control yourself around food. Your goal is to be around food at any time and be ok!

Instead of: "Ugh, I have NO willpower", we practice: "I am in control of everything I put in my mouth."

Instead of: "I can't control myself around carbs (or sugar or alcohol)", we practice: "I am disciplined and eat only what my body needs."

Just like anything else, mindfulness is a skill to be learned. One that takes practice. You know this, I have been tossing it in here and there lately.

It requires you to investigate other factors such as sleep, stress, hunger, energy.

Mindfulness....

It requires questions like:

Am I still hungry?

Can I stop eating right now?

Am I full?

Am I eating because I am stressed and anxious or haven’t gotten enough sleep?

It does take effort in the beginning but with time it becomes more automated to the point where you don’t have to think about it quite as much if you commit to it now!

It begins with slowing down the process of eating so we don’t feel the need to eat everything all at once.

Weight loss will happen naturally if you feed your body properly- not deprived, not stuffed...your weight will level out if you stop eating when you are not hungry.

I love digging deep into this stuff....let me know if this was helpful!!

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An impromptu Photoshoot and some lessons in fat loss.

Do you love my #moxy? Moxy: self possessed confidence. An attitude of fearlessness. This is now I want my nieces Makinna, Ashlynn and Evianna to feel about themselves!!

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I was asked to do a photoshoot with 2 days notice! GAHHH. The old me would have said no and missed out on an amazing opportunity. I would have needed 4 weeks to crash diet and add in 2 a day cardio sessions to drop that last 5lb.

I no longer feel the need to “diet” for a photoshoot. I had a brief freak out last night where I frantically texted my girls Erica Romano and Donloree Hoffman telling them “fuck I have been drinking wine almost every night of the week, and I am not lean enough for this photoshoot” But they responded with- “You are perfect just the way you are...you live ready so no need for a crash diet”

I had an epiphany moment - I have been eating moderately since 2014, I train 4 days a week year round. I don’t need to restrict or cut water for a photoshoot- because I am living the fit life 365 days a year. Never on or off a diet. Am I stage ready?? Hell NO! But that is not my goal look any more.

I am finally happy with my body just the way it is. My goal at Deanna Harder Fitness is to give my clients the very best life, that includes #wine, chocolate, and all foods while working out for 30-60 minutes a few times a week! You can look and feel good without going to extremes! Why didn’t I know this in my 20’s and most of my 30’s??

I had a great time shooting with http://www.demetrigianni.com He always catches my sassy personality!

If you have been doing everything possible to lose body fat and you just can't seem to make progress, here are 7 reasons why I myself was stuck for a very long time. Take it from one who had been there done that!

7 reasons why I was not losing body fat:

1) not eating enough 2) training too hard, too often 3) cutting out all carbohydrates 4) too much cardio 5) stressed OUT 6) lack of sleep and recovery 7) vitamin D levels were too low

This stuff doesn't all happen at once, but once I stood back and let another coach see inside my life, I finally saw I was standing in my own way. I now have completely changed the way I train, and my body is starting to grow and thrive again. Even a coach needs a coach.....

1 thing at a time....increase food slowly, decrease training volume slowly, go to bed earlier, breathe deep breaths and have gratitude, take a rest week here and there!

Hit reply if this was helpful! I love it when I get feedback! #alwayslearning#eattoperform#lovehowyoulive#moderation365 #perimenopause #fatloss 

Oh and here are some more photos from the shoot! I am elated! 40 years old and I stand with conviction and confidence! Again...do you love my MOXY????

Let's go!

xFitbabe

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