A Competitor in the Fitness Industry

I am a firm advocate of a formal education for Fitness Professionals. I am a proud graduate of the Fitness Leadership Diploma Program,

https://www.gprc.ab.ca/programs/personal-trainer.html

This 2 year Diploma has opened up so many doors for me in my career as a Personal Trainer and I am always excited to be able to give back to the program.

I was thrilled to recently be approached by my former College Instructor Laura Hancharuk to answer some questions from her current students regarding my career and how competing in Figure Competitions had an impact on both my personal life as well as my business.

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Here is the interview. I hope you enjoy. xFitbabe

** these are the students asking the questions ...

•I would like to know the best and worst part of competing.

The best part of competing is the commitment to a goal and following through. Every single day. I love the focus, and having a sense of achievement to the journey. The worst part? The actual day. It is long.  You get up at 4-5 am in order to get your hair and make-up done. Then you have to be at the venue an hour before the start time. For us Figure girls, that means 8 am.  You have to wait 3-4 hours back stage until your class is called up. Then you have to repeat the whole process for the evening show. Next, the tanning. It is fucking cold. You stand there naked while getting spray tanned, among all the other competitors...yes, there are tanning tents, but you strip down outside the tent among everyone. After 5-6 shows you don't even blink an eye. Hormones are shut down so it is not like the men are getting erections ha ha!!  You also have to keep your tan tidy while you wait, that includes when you pee. Some competitors use a funnel to pee into so you do not splash on your thighs. This is real life shit. The real ugly? The food restriction. The water cut, the dehydration and the discomfort of never really satisfying a deep hunger. Eventually you chew packs of gum to just have some sort of mouth pleasure, which gave me abdominal distress, gas and bloating! I had to cut all gum and sweeteners from my diet the last week. Good times.

• I want to know what a reversal looks like after a competition? Does she have a strict diet to follow after or is it kinda eat normally right after.

I competed from 2005-2014. In this decade, there really was no such thing as reverse dieting. I was never given a post contest plan from any bodybuilding coach. Essentially, after your 12 week prep, you were done. Myself being in the fitness industry as a career had a huge ego. I loved the attention and satisfaction of being super lean. I messed up by trying to stay lean afterwards. I would start to add fruit back in, as well as small treats like Quest Bars and peanut butter etc, but I really just stuck to my precontest diet foods. Now a days, coaches are reverse dieting their clients out of shows. It is a different world. Also, bodybuilding in general is a different world. Too many shows letting in too many average basic physiques. This causes a watered down show with not a lot of competition for greatness. I am from an era where the freakiest most crazy shredded bodybuilders ONLY were on that stage. Now, anyone who has simply lost some weight and wants to show off a beach body is entering a show.

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•

 Also, has her eating disorder effected her prep for a competition?

I had an ED way before I entered the bodybuilding scene. I actually believe figure show gave me different eating disorder. I was no longer binge/purging, but I was super strict on what I would allow myself to eat. I would only allow myself to eat 6-8 foods. I also had an obsession with exercise,  so I would use the idea of a show to validate my over-training. This caused me to have an unhealthy relationship with food and training during and after prep. I had to eventually leave the competition life in order for me to heal myself. I couldn't be healthy and compete. It was ALL or nothing.  I believe firmly NO ONE leaves a competition prep without some sort of eating disorder. You just do not look at food the same way after.

• Would she recommend competing to others, and if so with what advice or warnings would she give?

I would have a hard look at your why. I would also have a hard look at your genetics. Do you have the "X" frame? Do you possess the qualities needed to go to the top? Are you just looking for a goal that gets you shredded? If so, you can diet and train for the same result and not spend $3000 plus dollars to compete. ** Suit cost, shoes, hair,nails, grooming,  tan, coach fees, food, supplements, entry fee, hotels and flights if needed, time off work, gym membership, posing coach, photographer..and on an on.

Do you have a healthy relationship with you body? Do you have a healthy relationship with food? How is your family life? Work life? Relationships? You need a good support system.

I lost a lot of friends, missed out on tons of family outings and events due to my strict food and training schedule. You must treat a show like a hobby, and not make it your whole world.

Be prepared to sacrifice a lot. But it can also be super fun and rewarding if done in a positive way.

Hire the right coach. If he or she cuts out entire food groups, or starts you out with an hour of cardio 12 weeks out RUN!!!

Ask for credentials and also ask if he or she does a reverse diet plan after the show.

• Does she feel that the fitness industry in general is somewhat of a “breeding ground” for eating disorders for fitness professionals?

Yes it can be. I was one of them. Before I enrolled in the Fitness Leadership Diploma program I was an Fitness instructor for 4 years. I had an eating disorder since the age of 15. I would teach up to 10 fitness classes a week, as well as train myself for 2 hours a day.  I wanted a career where I could exercise and be able to get paid for it. I am currently working with Eating Disorder Support Network of Alberta http://edsna.ca to help educate instructors to be able to see the warning signs of this happening with their students. Here are some articles and resources specifically on the topic of eating disorders in the Fitness Industry:

https://www.reddeeradvocate.com/news/exploring-eating-disorders-in-sports-and-fitness/

http://edsna.ca/resources/#healthcare

https://www.notsolinear.ca/thoughts/hiding-my-eating-disorder-what-i-wish-my-gym-teachers-dance-instructors-physical-therapists-and-personal-trainers-would-have-been-more-aware-of-when-i-was-sick

• Does she ever feel pressure from clients/employers to maintain a certain look?

Yes and NO. I have been told that a client has hired me because I have a desired look, but mostly it is my knowledge, personality and coaching style that kept them coming back. I have an ego. I love being fit and lean, but, staying so lean was not healthy nor sustainable. I now have a much more thriving business since stepping away from competing and focusing on being strong and healthy. My clients see my deadlift PR, my pull up videos, and think...COOL! "maybe I can be strong and then in turn my body will LOOK strong". Funny how that is actually the truth! I know many trainers who may not look jacked up, but are really really good at what they do. I also know trainers that look shredded but are the worst in the business. Having a lean body and having a lot of followers on Instagram does not make you a better coach. :)

•

What is the favourite part of her career and what she dislikes the most.

My favorite part is helping people believe in themselves. I love having a client who comes in sick, tired and fed up who then makes a complete lifestyle transformation.  I also love that I am 40 now and am entering a decade where I am attracting my ideal client. I have the confidence and conviction and can draw a line in the sand on who I am for and who I am not, with NO apologies. This however wasn't always the case. In my 20's and early 30's I had to hustle. I took every client on who hired me, I worked from 6am-9pm, I drove all over Edmonton to please people. I sacrificed a lot. But it was worth it. I am in the trust business. I had to prove I was reliable, professional and could follow through with results!! I also love my team of professionals at Custom Fit. I am a local expert now, and have been able to assist my colleague by doing Fitness Tips on the CTV Edmonton News since 2006. We are known  as the best in the city and I stand firm that we are!! Conviction right?

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I also love that I am in career where I can pivot at any time. The fitness industry has given me so many opportunities to meet and engage with people from all over the world, in turn this introduced me to other career options. I love that.

• What advice would she give to a new fitness professional just starting out?

As I wrote above, you have to be prepared to WORK HARD. You will not have 9-5 hours. You will be tired and have to smile. You need to love to help people first. It can't be about the money. In the beginning you will have to say YES to everything that comes your way. You get to earn your NO's. ALSO, LISTEN TO EVERYTHING LAURA SAYS. I still hear her wise words and phrases repeated in my head while I coach. Laura changed my life.

Thank you all and if you have any questions, let me know. I am happy to respond.

Deanna Harder

CSEP- CPT

Fitness Leadership Diploma

780-984-2264

My Fertility Story * originally published on Feministfiguregirl.com

My condition in October 2015- the month I went off the pill. 116 lb

Hello everyone, Fitbabe here. Let me preface this blog with the disclaimer that I am not a writer. I have horrible grammar, my sentences run on, and I write as I would talk: fast, intense and full of curse words. My passion is the physical culture, and the gym is my home. Find me there and you will see the best of me. I will leave the writing to FFG, as she is the professional. Anyway, with that being said. Read on!

So, I am 38 years old. I haven’t had a menstrual cycle since I was 33. I have been on the birth control pill for 22 years. I am single. In fact, I haven’t been in a relationship for over 5 years, so one day I said to myself: ” I am going to go off the pill and give my body a break from artificial hormones, it is not like I am trying to prevent getting pregnant with the non existent sex life I am having.” I had no idea that when I stopped taking that tiny little pill every morning it would bring on the most challenging year of my adult life.

October 2015. I am really doing this. I do not start a new pack of pills. I feel normal. I read everything I could get my hands on about the possible side effects of coming off the pill, notably weight gain or loss, spotting, acne, mood disorders, and depression. I reach out to mentors and educators, including professionals I had met at The Women’s Fitness Summit in Kansas City the year before. They all tell me I should be fine. There are supplements recommended to take post pill to help with estrogen dominance. I decide to take maca root, ashwaganda and rhodiola which are adaptogen herbs to help with stress, mood and relaxation. I can still see my abs and am killing my workouts. No big deal. I do not need to worry. I am 118lb.

December 2015. My clothes are starting to fit tight. I start to see cellulite on my bum and thighs. I NEVER HAD CELLULITE THERE BEFORE? I have not been one to weigh myself due to a decade of eating disorders and body image issues. I weigh myself…I am 122lb. I have gained 4 lb and my body is changing. Still no period and I start to wonder if I made a mistake. I start to double my cardio sessions and cut calories.

January 2016. Happy New Year….to my new BOOBS AND ASS! My breasts are getting bigger, and my ass is now a booty- well to me it was anyway. You see, I had stayed so lean for the last 5 years that my body was not happy with being over-trained and underfed. Even though I had cut calories and doubled my workouts, I was gaining weight. This tells me I had long needed to gain some weight for fertility and health. I speak to my doctor and ask to go back on the pill. She lovingly says that we need to give my body time to adjust. My doctor books me a full body bone scan to be sure I do not have the female athletic triad (a syndrome in which an eating disorder, amenorrhoea/oligomenorrhoea, and decreased bone mineral density are present). I already have amenorrhea, along with the history of eating disorders and over exercising. If my bone scan comes back with negative results, this could be serious.

Here I am in February 2016. I am now 129 lb and feeling awful.

February 2016. I am super freaked out. I can’t fit any of my jeans. I start to panic and immediately hire a local coach and ask to be put on a fat loss plan. She is amazing with me and decides that I need to work on my metabolism and dial back on the obsessive training. I try to resist, but with her coaching I realize that if I want my body to respond again, I need to trust her. I slowly add food in and am eating up to 1500 calories a day, while training only 4 days a week. Previously, I would do an hour of cardio a day and lift weights 6-7 days a week. I never took a rest day. I had been cutting my calories too low. This new plan is good for me. I have injuries and hormones to heal.

March 2016. I continue to gain weight. I am up to 127lb, but I am not going to quit. I listen to my coach and continue to back off my crazy training and let my body enjoy yoga, leisure walking and baths. I hate my cellulite and my belly. WHOSE BODY IS THIS ANYWAY? I do not recognize myself in the mirror. I feel like my body is betraying me. The bone scan comes back normal. I rejoice and celebrate my two decades of lifting weights. Strength training for the win!

April-May 2016. My weight jumps up to 129lb. I only have 2 pairs of nike tights that fit. I buy one more pair of ADIDAS tights that are huge. I dig out an old pair of jeans that were given to me. One of my clients gave me some beautiful clothes that fit me before Christmas, but are too tight now. I feel so gross. My blood work has now been taken 3 times. Full hormone panels. They all come up normal? I am so stressed. I cry a lot. I feel like nobody will ever love me, and I fall into a depression. I stop working with my coach and try to train and eat intuitively. By the end of May, I have cut out all sugar, caffeine, grains and alcohol. I don’t drink wine for 3 months. I miss that the most, but I want to get healthy.

June 2016. Still no period. I return to my doctor and she refers me to an endocrinologist. I book an appointment for July 22. At the same time, I have a pelvic ultrasound where they discover I possibly have a blood clot in my uterus. They can see only one ovary, but I guess that is very common? I can’t wait to see the endocrinologist. I have a notebook of questions to ask. I am also booked for an MRI to get to the bottom of that blood clot. The MRI is on August 22. So, here we go.

July 22, 2016. My body is changing again. My weight drops down to 125 and stays there the whole month. I see the endocrinologist. She is wonderful. She suspects that because I was on the pill for so long it will take 1-2 years for me to get my cycle back. At this point I am so happy that I am maintaining my weight and am back in the gym squatting and deadlifting heavy, that I do not care about my period. However, fertility is a beautiful thing and it is my right as a woman to have it. I start using a dating app called Bumble. I swipe right and end up going out with a few men which doesn’t really go anywhere. I know what I am looking for, and I am not willing to settle for anything average. My girlfriend Chantal gives me a few pairs of jeans, size 27. THEY FIT and they look fabulous. My breasts are full and my bum is round. My bras fit perfectly and I feel sexy. [Aside: at the beginning of this month, I drop a 35lb barbell plate on my foot but the x-ray shows no broken bones. Hooray for strength training again. Still, I am limping and have a swollen foot. Thank you universe for bringing me more obstacles!]

August 2016. I am back full force in the gym. I am eating foods I love and drinking my beloved wine again. I decide to delete the dating app and just meet men the old fashioned way. I decide to swipe right one more time and BOOM I meet an amazing man. His name is Ben and it turns out that he knew who I was. He had seen me in the gym in which I train clients. We connect immediately and he makes me feel so sexy and desirable. All I can think about is what if he sees my cellulite and stretch marks and is turned off? What if my round belly makes him grossed out? I also didn’t previously mention in this post that I have braces on my teeth too. I have had them for 19 months. Ben likes me anyway and insists I am perfect the way I am. Still no period. I am finally sexually active again, but wait now I need birth control. Fuck. August 22 come around. Ben comes with me to the MRI. I am so grateful.

Here I am currently- my weight is stable a 124lb and my jeans fit awesome! My breasts fill out my bra and I am happy.

September 2016. I finally get answers. My doctor tells me I do not have a blood clot. Great. No tumours, cancer, or anything. Instead, she says to me: “Deanna, you have a Unicornate Uterus.” I am stunned. What the heck does that mean? A unicorn? What??

Definition: A unicornuate uterus represents a uterine malformation where the uterus is formed from one only of the paired Müllerian ducts while the other Müllerian duct does not develop or only in a rudimentary fashion. The sometimes called hemi-uterushas a single horn linked to the ipsilateral fallopian tube that faces its ovary.

The doctor tells me that if I do get my period back, I could get pregnant, but most likely would never carry a baby full term. I sit and absorb this information. Am I half a woman? What does this mean? Do I want children? No I don’t, but I want the choice. I will be 39 in just over a month. 39! I am sitting here wondering why this is happening. Why didn’t I meet a man and try to start a family. Would I have discovered this information only after having several miscarriages? It would have been devastating if that had happened. At least I am a strong, capable, empowered woman who knows in her heart that it is ok not to have children. I cry. I have just started dating an amazing man who may want children. Maybe he will tell me it is over. Maybe he will say, “Deanna, I need to be with someone who can have my children.” I am scared, but know I am going to be amazing with or without a man.

I tell Ben. He is the first person I tell, even before my mother, sister, or best friend. I tell him first. He does not miss a beat. He is kind and supportive. When I ask if this makes me half a woman, he replies: “You are not half a woman. You are SUPERWOMAN.”

I could have not asked for a better response.

Here I am feeling sexy finally.

My weight is stabilized now and I feel way better. I have my sex drive back, and am so grateful for this experience. As hard as the last few months of 2015 and the majority of 2016 was for me mentally and physically, I look back and am in awe of how amazing my body is. My body has been beaten down with brutal workouts; it has been underfed and stressed out. I had punished myself for so long, but when I started loving myself it began to thrive.

I get my braces off on Sept 7. I am dating a super HOT sexy man, who loves my curves. I am back in the gym with a new energy and mindset. I am better than before. I have so much gratitude. Life can kick you in the ass and then swoop you up in a cloud of happiness just like that. I still have some time left in 2016 to turn things around, so that is exactly what I plan on doing. Everything is temporary. Happiness is a choice, and today I choose happiness.

Thanks for reading.

Deanna