#TRANSPARENCY  implies openness, communication, and accountability. Transparency is operating in such a way that it is easy for others to see what actions are performed. I am all about being transparent here at Deanna Harder Fitness.

The picture on the left was taken 2 weeks after my Figure show in 2013, I was 112lb. (90 min of cardio a day, 6 weight training workouts and an extreme diet). The picture on the right was taken on Sunday night, Feb 5, 2017 and I am now 122lb. (4 strength training workouts focusing on squats and deadlifts, 2 density circuits or sprint workouts and a flexible diet). On Sunday, I was checking in with my coach( Jordan Syatt) feeling bloated and fat. I told him I look puffy all over and felt awful. I was then scrolling through old pics on my phone, and there I was, the exact same bikini, the same mirror but a different mind and body staring back at me. This body was fighting several colitis attacks, psoriasis break outs, and extreme bloating all month. But, I know that shit is temporary. My coach reminded me that my body does this every month. I know this and if you are a woman who did a lot of extreme dieting and exercise and are stressed out, your body most likely does too.

Transitioning off of the Figure Competition stage to a balanced life where I train to be strong and healthy took time. Here is what you need to know if this is YOU.

1) You must start to slowly back off the cardio and extreme dieting. This took me over 4 years. You will gain weight. It happens. And when it does, it involves mirrors, misery and meltdowns.

2) You will feel huge and bloated. This is water retention. It is not fat. Stay calm.

3) You will be just fine. You don't need to control your weight to be just fine. You can weather the panic and choose not to react to it with the former habitual go-to of restriction. It takes practice for sure. But you can do it. #moderation365#foodobsessionfreedom

4) Three F's of stress....you fight, you flight or you freeze! Your body can't distinguish between running from a raging bear or doing a spartan race! YOU NEED TO RELAX! I needed to relax and let go of controlling what I looked like and let my body fluctuate. I needed to trust it.

5) YOU MUST stop comparing yourself to how you looked when you competed- I have to do this too. I want to be STRONG. Being small is not my goal right now so stop it NUT! Here's to being strong and finding balance in your life. You really can have the best of both worlds. You just need to #trust the process.

6) Be kind to yourself when things are hard. Life is like the seasons. You can't change the seasons, so instead be prepared for things to go up and down.

I know that I am forever a work in progress and recovery from my ED. I know abs do not give me validation as a fitness expert, but I sure do love having them! #radicalvanity

This balance of control versus trust..... Control is an illusion. And trust is the opposite (and actually the ultimate in control). Trusting life, trusting the process, trusting the journey, trusting YOURSELF that you can handle anything that comes up – THAT. Is magical.

When you trust yourself to handle whatever happens as a result of your action (or non-action), it feels liberating. It’s releasing the urgency of needing to have all the answers and instead allowing yourself to simply relax into the process.

Anyway, I know some of you are terrified to let go of old habits, even when they are no longer serving you. You are not alone. I too was terrified. But I am so much happier now and you can be too.

By the way...Hug more- it releases oxytocin! ❤️ xDeanna